


One New Group Chat

by PinkEasterEggs



Series: Message Alert [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Humor, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, No Plot/Plotless, Peter Parker Has a Family, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Social Media, Superfamily (Marvel), Texting, The Avengers Are Good Bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 22:59:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18860695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkEasterEggs/pseuds/PinkEasterEggs
Summary: Peter creates a group chat including the Avengers.Chaos ensues.





	One New Group Chat

Peter has added Ned, ClintBarton, BirdBoy, Dad, Pops, Nat???, MJ, Bucky, Uncle Rhodey and Wanda to a new group chat

Peter changed the group chat name to: Avengers A$$emble

Peter: yo

BirdBoy: What is this shit

Pops: Language, Sam.

Peter: hahah

Ned: OMGOMGOMG 

Peter: okay calm down ned

Dad has left Avengers A$$emble

Peter has added Dad to Avengers A$$emble

Pater: DAD

Dad: I swear if my phone starts constantly buzzing because of this chat, you are grounded Peter

Peter: :(

Uncle Rhodey: I second that

Peter: :(

Ned: I swear Mr Iron Man sir we will be good!!!!

Dad: Jesus Christ

——————————

Bucky: Sam just fell out a tree

BirdBoy: BUCKY

Peter: wait what

Wanda: Would you care to explain?

BirdBoy: He’s lying

Peter: let the man speak

Bucky: We were training and Sam was flying around but he got distracted

Bucky: And he flew into a tree

Bucky: And then fell out

Pops: Sam, are you hurt? Do we need to call medical?

Peter: hahhhahahahahah

Peter: please tell me u have pictures

BirdBoy: LIKE I SAID BEFORE: HE’S LYING

Bucky: *image delivered*

Ned: Big Oof Mr Falcon sir

Peter: i have literally never laughed harder

Peter: i guess u could say the bird fell out of the nest

BirdBoy: Ur such a little shit

Pops: Sam, language!

——————————

Peter: u guys

Peter: i got an A on my Spanish quiz!

Ned: So did i!

MJ: So did everyone in our class you dorks

MJ: Our teacher literally said she passed everyone because she’s going on holiday next week and couldn’t be asked to mark the quizzes 

Dad: And here i am paying money for my son’s education for what? This

MJ: Tbh she could have failed us all instead

Dad: The education system at its finest

Pops: What does ‘tbh’ mean?

——————————

Pops: *image delivered*

Ned: Awwwwwww

MJ: Blackmail material

BirdBoy: Did the little shit wear himself out? How adorable [eye roll emoji]

Bucky: Why does Peter always look so angelic when asleep yet so evil when awake

Wanda: It’s the Stark genes

Dad: Hey!

Pops: She has a point, honey.

Dad has left Avengers A$$emble

———————————

Peter has added Dad to Avengers A$$emble

Peter: stop leaving the chat!!!!!!!

Dad: Stop adding me back into it!!!!!!!!

Pops: Can someone please save me? They’re passive aggressively glaring at each other across the dinner table.

————————————

Wanda: Peter where the hell are you

BirdBoy: What did the little shit do now?

Wanda: He stole all my clothes!!

Pops: He what? Peter, is this true?

Pops: Peter Stark answer me right now.

Peter: what makes u think it was me

Wanda: Who else would steal all my t-shirts???

Peter: maybe vision?

Wanda: Peter i swear to God

Wanda: Give me back all my tops

Peter: no

Pops: Peter, this isn’t funny. Give Wanda her clothes back. You can’t just steal half of someone’s wardrobe.

Peter: oh but she can steal my favourite hoodie last week?

Peter: it’s a two way street sista

Wanda: IT WAS COLD

Peter: MAYBE I WAS COLD AND NEEDED UR TOPS

Wanda: Oh yes because you NEED my 20 different pairs of female t-shirts

Peter: what so u can steal my male hoodie but i can’t borrow ur female tops

Peter: didn’t peg u as sexist wanda 

Peter: also u own a lot of black

Peter: i think it might be a problem

Pops: Peter.

Dad: Just give them all back, kid

Peter: i want my hoodie back

Wanda: You are such a baby

Peter: damn straight 

———————————

Peter: conspiracy theory time

Peter: the illuminati is real

Pops: Not this again, Peter. 

Uncle Rhodey: If i hear you say that one more time i swear

Peter: but !!! like !!! its real !!!!

MJ: Give it up

Dad: There is no illuminati Peter

Dad: End of story

Peter: bold words from a man who is suspected to be in the illuminati

———————————

ClintBarton: hey so its Cooper’s birthday next week

ClintBarton: and ur all invited to his birthday party this weekend 

ClintBarton: its nothing fancy just a simple bbq so dress casual 

Peter: i can’t believe coop is 13 now

Peter: bet ur excited for the teen angst stage

ClintBarton: if my son is anything like u then God help me

Peter: i’m not that bad!!!!!

Dad: Yes you are

Pops: You really are.

———————————

Peter: who wants some tea

Ned: I do!!!

Pops: I’ll have milk and one sugar please. Thank you Peter.

Peter: pops no

Peter: that’s not what i meant

———————————

Peter: in this world u either kill yourself or get killed

Ned: WHATCHA GON DO WATCHA GON DO

Wanda: Do you really have nothing else better to do?

MJ: We’re meant to be revising in our free period but these dorks have been quizzing themselves on vines for the past 40 minutes

Peter: uhhhhhhh snitch much????

MJ: If we lose the next Academic Decathlon meet bc u and Ned were too busy yelling out vines then i’m swapping u with Flash 

Peter: u would never

Pops: Peter, maybe you and Ned should try and do something more productive?

Peter: pops u don’t even know what a vine is

Pops: So?

Peter: u don’t understand the art

Dad: Peter Stark get your ass off the phone and revise or i’m taking away your internet privileges 

Peter: how do u know what’s good for me?

Ned: THATS MY OPINION 

Dad: Right so thats two days without the internet now

Peter: :(

————————————

Peter: i’m back !!!!!!!

Peter: my two days of injustice is over !!!!

BirdBoy: Stark come get ur kid

————————————

ClintBarton: thank u all for coming to Cooper’s party but to the person (not naming any names) who played Old Town Road on a loop i hate u bc now Nate won’t stop singing it

ClintBarton: again not naming names

ClintBarton: no names at all

ClintBarton: not one person will be name dropped

ClintBarton: peter

Peter: its a good song!!!!!!!!!

Bucky: I disagree to that

Peter: yeah well u suck the fun out of everything

Bucky: How?

Peter: ur like 100 years old 

Peter: HOW don’t u suck the fun out of everything

Pops: I’m 100 years old too Peter and you still think i’m fun. Cut Buck some slack.

Peter: right 

Peter: bc ur so much fun too

Pops: I’m fun!

Peter: right

BirdBoy: Oh this just got real

—————————————

Peter: i need to bleach my eyes

Peter: someone pls kill me

Peter: help help help

Uncle Rhodey: What’s wrong?? Are you hurt Peter?

Peter: i wish i was

Ned: ??????

Dad: Stop messing around and tell us what is wrong

Peter: i walked in on wanda and vision kissing  
Peter: ewwwwwwwww

MJ: Smh

Wanda: Oh grow up 

Peter: ewwwwwwwww

Dad: Do we need to have the Birds and the Bees talk again?

Peter: pls no

Pops: I’m sure there are some of my PSA videos we can play for educational purposes

Peter: i’m running away

————————————

Dad: Peter come home

Pops: We know you’re hiding out at Ned’s, son. We won’t really play the videos. 

Dad: It was a joke 

Ned: Peter wants me to tell u that he isn’t here right now

Peter: ned!!!!

Dad: Be home in 30 or we really will play the PSA videos

Peter: :(

————————————

Peter: hey nat u ever gonna message on the chat

Peter: nat

Peter: nat hello

Peter: nat i’m sitting across the sofa from u

Peter: i know ur getting my messages

Peter: i can literally see ur phoning going off

Peter: u just looked at ur phone!!!!!

Peter: it takes 5 seconds to reply

Peter: rude

—————————————

Ned: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OH7Wxirxls

Ned: I wish i was that rich

Dad: Can’t relate

—————————————

Peter added Happy H to Avengers A$$emble 

Peter: if ur happy and u know it clap ur hands

Peter: . . . .

Peter: happy u gotta clap

Happy H has left Avengers A$$emble 

—————————————

Dad: Peter stop trying to add my forehead of security to the chat, he keeps complaining each time i see him

—————————————

MJ: *image delivered*

MJ: The dork keeps falling asleep in class

Peter: wow the betrayal runs deep

Pops: Peter, what have we told you about going out as Spider-Man late at night?

Peter: uhh not to do it???

Dad: So then why do you keep doing it anyway?

Peter: u have no evidence

Dad: *video delivered*

Dad: Thats pulled from FRIDAY’s security archives of you sneaking out each night

Peter: thats not me

——————————————

Wanda: Peter did you go in my room?

Peter: y

Wanda: Did you?

Peter: y

Wanda: It’s a simple question

Peter: y

Wanda: Peter

Peter: what

Wanda: Did you go in my room?

Peter: y

BirdBoy: ENOUGH

——————————————

Peter: [billy ray cyrus voice]

Peter: IM GONNA TAKE MY HORSE TO THE OLD TOWN ROAD

Ned: IM GONNA RIDDDDDEE TILL I CANT NO MORE

ClintBarton: i hate u both

——————————————

Peter: hypothetically if i were to drink 27 cans of Red Bull would that be,,, fatal???

Dad: How hypothetical 

Peter: did i say hypothetically?

Peter: i meant practically

Peter: i can’t stop shaking

——————————————

Peter: guess who is out of medical !!!!!!

Ned: YAY

MJ: Dork

Wanda: *eye roll GIF*

Dad: You’re going to be the death of me

Peter: aw dad 

——————————————

Peter changed the changed the chat name to Super Secret Boy Band

Peter: minus sam tho

BirdBoy: OI

——————————————

Ned: Can we have Thai tonight mom???

Peter: uh ned

Ned: Wrong chat sorry

Ned: Omg i just told Mr Captain America and Mr Iron Man that i want Thai tonight that’s so embarrassing 

BirdBoy: What am i? Chopped liver??

——————————————

Uncle Rhodey: Peter will you hurry the hell up and get out of school already

Peter: uncle rhodey what?

Uncle Rhodey: I’m outside your school right now

Peter: why

Uncle Rhodey: Your dad asked me to pick you up today 

Peter: . . . 

Peter: its a saturday

Uncle Rhodey: Tony said you had Decathlon training?? 

MJ: Nope

Uncle Rhodey: Tony what the hell?

Dad: Hehehe

Wanda: This is what i meant by Stark genes being chaotic

Peter: hey!!!!!

Dad: Hey!

———————————————

Dad: So Peter’s away tonight, want to break out the good wine and mess around? [winky emoji]

Peter: u did not just send that message to the group chat 

Dad: Wrong chat 

Dad: It was meant for your Pops

Peter: I KNOW WHO IT WAS MEANT FOR

Peter: that is disgusting 

Dad: I’m not going to apologise for loving my husband 

Peter: u could love him perfectly fine without traumatising ur son

Dad: Now where is the fun in that?

Pops: To answer your question: yes i would like that very much, honey.

Peter: i’m glad ur rich bc i’m gonna need so much therapy now

————————————————

BirdBoy: Hey u little asshole

BirdBoy: I totally kicked ur ass in training today

Peter: . . . once

Peter: u kicked my ass once

Pops: Language.

BirdBoy: U still fell down ha

Peter: only bc i had won so many that i felt bad for u

BirdBoy: Don’t lie

Nat???: Peter purposely lost. It was obvious.

Peter: yes nat !!!!!!!!!

BirdBoy: asshole

Pops: Language.

Peter: yeah u tell him pops

——————————————

ClintBarton: who ate all the lucky charms

Dad: We ran out again?

Dad: That’s the 2nd box in one week

BirdBoy: Well lets look at the obvious culprits:

BirdBoy: *image of Peter delivered*

BirdBoy: *image of Steve delivered*

BirdBoy: *image of Bucky delivered

BirdBoy: I’m putting my guess down on the little asshole

Bucky: What the hell Sam, it’s a well known fact that i don’t like marshmallows

BirdBoy: How is that a WELL KNOWN fact??

Bucky: I thought everyone knew?

Wanda: I, too, blame Peter

Dad: I do as well

Nat???: Me too.

Pops: It wasn’t me, Clint.

ClintBarton: so we all collectively agree that peter is to blame 

ClintBarton: not much has changed then

Peter: wow i go for a shower and when i come back i realise that my family hates me

Peter: okay but it was me

Peter: lucky charms are just so good!!!!!

———————————————————

Peter: bucky

Peter: bc ur old and ur friends with my pops

Peter: does that make u my grandpa

MJ: DId u really just ???

Ned: Omg

Wanda: That isn’t how family relations works

Peter: grandpa buck

Bucky: Delete this.

———————————

Dad has added Fury to Super Secret Boy Band

Fury: What the hell is this?

Pops: Language.

Fury has left Super Secret Boy Band

Peter: well that was short lasting

——————————————————

Peter: pops ur basically austin powers

Pops: Who?

Peter: exactly

—————————

Dad: How is everything at home kiddo?

Peter: its fine

Peter: hows the mission going

ClintBarton: no one is dead yet

Peter: . . .yet

Pops: Ignore Clint, everything is going good here. We should be back home tomorrow night, son.

Peter: okay miss u 

Dad: We miss you too buddy

BirdBoy: I miss u significantly less

Peter: all i heard was that u miss me

BirdBoy: U little shit

Bucky: Sam is going crazy without you

Bucky: He keeps complaining how boring this mission is without the ‘Spider shit’ as he calls u

Bucky: Stevie keeps yelling Language each time he does

Peter: miss u too sam

BirdBoy: Whatever

Bucky: He’s smiling 

BirdBoy: BUCKY

———————————

Pops: Movie night?

Dad: Sounds great

ClintBarton: ah yes it is good to be back

Peter: i vote star wars

BirdBoy: I vote Creed

Peter: u always vote for creed tho

BirdBoy: ah says the boy who doesn’t watch movies outside of space and jedi

Peter: they’re classics :(

Dad: I wouldn’t mind putting on Empire Strikes Back

Peter: yay

Peter: ned and mj u free 

Ned: Yes!!!

Ned: Are we invited to Avengers movie night???

Pops: Of course, Ned. MJ, you are too.

MJ: I might be busy

Peter: . . . 

MJ: Turns out i’m free

Peter: yay

ClintBarton: i’ll get the popcorn

Wanda: I’ll bring blankets

Bucky: I haven’t seen Empire Strikes Back yet

Peter: prepare for a cinematic masterpiece 

Dad: I’ll order take out

Peter: pizza!!!

Dad: Duh

Dad: What else would i get?

Peter: i can’t wait

———————————————

Peter: this movie is so awesome

BirdBoy: Stop texting during the film !!!!!!

Peter: whoops

———————————————


End file.
